blog

June 18th 1949 UT

Newport yacht club - just outside the bar.

I am sitting at the computer onboard Cazenove Capital which is oddly still, just resting.

It is raining outside and I am listening to the sound of the wind and struggling for words.

After a heart wrenching day yesterday, the end tantalizingly close, and still seemingly just out of my reach, the wind stayed true and I made it to the finish.

Just as the sun was setting I made my call to the committee; 6 miles to go and making 6 knots. Then I headed back on deck to carry on trimming the spinnaker and find my way to the finish.

In the distance I could see navigation lights weaving towards me. I guessed this would be my welcome, as they got closer the rib put on a spurt, leapt clean out of the water in front of me and then arced around to show me its crew; A team of well wishers from the yacht club and Mum, Rachael and Derek.

Later Martin and Jean arrived in another boat, shouting their congratulations into the night.

I cannot tell you what I felt, I was not prepared for this part, but I can look back and smile as they shared this moment with me.

They cruised along side me, calling encouragement and watching me trim the spinnaker. The low light from the now set sun, bathed us in orange and then the night was upon us and I was feeling my through the darkness to a finish line. An imaginary line, drawn across a stretch of water that marked a moment in time when I would stop.

At 01:35 a hooter blew and before I knew it there where people onboard. I was smothered in hugs and kisses, hand shakes, helping hands. The rib took me in an alongside tow as the water pump on the engine is broken and I cannot motor for longer than 5 mins at a time.

I was whisked into the dock, where other skippers where waiting for me with cheers and beers, there was champagne, strawberries, friendly faces and I did not know what to do.

Today I have started work to turn the boat around and make it ready for sailing back. It has been a great pleasure to meet with and chat to other skippers, here their stories and share our experiences. Some of them seem so very together and others, like me look dazed and like they should not be allowed to cross a road unaccompanied.

Time to reflect. I hope you will have understood from blogs, just how much enjoyment I have gained from this race. It has not simply been the fulfillment of an ambition but the chance for me to grow, building on qualities I believed I had making them stronger and more solid.

I used my sailing skills well, making mistakes which helped me to learn. I proved my mental toughness and drove myself harder than I thought I could, nagging and bullying the less pro active me into action.

Though I still carry the disappointment from my early rigging failure in a way it helped me to unlock another level to my sailing I may have been too conservative to find.

Starting from the back of the fleet I had nothing to lose. I was determined to catch up and determined that I should still show my potential, I had set out to race and race I would. I pushed hard, leaving sails up for longer, trimming harder, and steering as much as possible. I got to know the limits at which I would arrive at exhaustion and was ever hovering just the right side of them. I have found that I can and will sail harder and faster than I had previously thought, and it is ok. My limits have now been reset and the normal is at a higher level.

I did not win, but I was racing. My position to date is 5th in class and 16th overall. I lost out QII by two hours on elapsed time at the end. I am proud of what I have achieved and still feel, with 1000 more miles a good few more boats would have fallen to the cuddy.

Single handed yacht racing is a unique sport. It requires mental and physical strength and agility. It is a battle against elements and emotions that goes on and on. It will build you up and then strip you down, gains and losses continually changing your outlook. For me the gains far outweigh the losses. This is a sport that fits my character and skills and has constantly challenged me in a way I have relished.

More than that my love for the sea and sailing becomes stronger with every ocean I cross. This year I have sailed nearly 11,000 miles single handed and am about to turn around and rack up another 3,000 on my return voyage. Every mile is a gift.

I would like to express a deep felt thank you to each of the many people who have helped me to the start line and travelled these miles with me. From the supply of equipment, to financial contributions, practical help, somewhere to stay, something to eat, kind words and encouragement. The greatest gift that any of you have given is to believe in me, that belief has made me believe in myself and put in a performance I am proud of. I will carry these last 3 weeks with me onto the next challenge in my life, where ever or what ever it may be. I think we all know there will be an ocean and a boat involved.

If you enjoy this website why not make a donation to The Institute of Cancer Research. For more information visit our Charities page.